Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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