Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They are going to name an STD after you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
