Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
