Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
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i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
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I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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