I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
