why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
