Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
