yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
