my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your penis caused this!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
