What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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