I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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