we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
