smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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