The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize