That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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