when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize