you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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