you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How naked do you want me to be?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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