I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
