Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
