Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
being pregnant is like rehab
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
