I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize