i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize