so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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