last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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