drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
