real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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