With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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