You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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