Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize