Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
