I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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