Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
