Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
