operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
