i love accidental penises.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
