mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize