Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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