cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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