As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
