no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
