NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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