We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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