It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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