...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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