Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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