if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize