rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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