ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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