Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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