I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
