It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
