apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
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Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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