Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
