i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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