You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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