Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
